dreams

i haven't been dreaming a lot lately. I've barely been sleeping over the last week so perhaps that's why!

Lots going on in this world. Just returned from two very hot (as in heat) weeks in Cyprus visiting J's family. It was relaxing (for the most part) and exciting at the same time. Nice to be away with someone special, meeting his family, seeing a new place in the world and great to take the time to re-energize. It's been years since i've been on a proper vacation that included sand the sea.

Coming home to a bit of chaos was managed much better due to the time away. And the fact the J is so supportive, reassuring and positive makes life in general so much easier. I am grateful for that support every day.

In the early hours of this morning, I had a dream. It was about Dave who I don't think I've really dreamed about since he died. In it, there was a third person who was with us...can't really say who. While the details are somewhat murky and faded in the daylight, I distinctly recall that this 3rd person was asking Dave questions. Dave was clearly saying that I know that I can call him anytime or I can see him anytime despite the distance. I remember walking with the two of them, thinking, "how am i going to explain that Dave isn't really here, that he's dead." More so though, I remember being grateful for what Dave was saying. I wasn't sad. I felt him with me, like old times.

It's hard to explain what it felt like when I woke up. Again, like in the dream, I wasn't sad. I do feel like it was a message....even though I know the dream was likely prompted because I unpacked a bunch of photos last night which had a few of Dave in the pile. But it was so vivid, so direct and so much like Dave to send that message that I want to think it was more than that.

Who knows. In the end, it made me feel good.