best kind of friend

I've been putting off writing something here for days now. Not because I have little to say - I have lots of memories of Dave - they just don't seem to do him justice.

I can't actually remember when I first met Dave. We both worked for the Canadian Federation of Students - so it was some time in the early 90's - he was in BC, I was in Ontario. It was during an intense period of upheaval in the student movement and when in need of good organizers Dave's name was generally the first mentioned. We became fast friends.

He was confident without being arrogant, smart without being obnoxious, patient without being patronizing. He was one of those people who was able to talk to anyone and honestly enjoyed a difference of opinion. I learned from him a tonne about politics, about people and about being passionate about what you believe. Dave genuinely cared about helping people. Whether it was writing policy or organizing, it was about empowerment. It was about giving back to the community and helping to make life better. He touched so many lives in doing so.

One memory does stand out in my mind. During a particularly stressful time in my life, he invited me out to Vancouver for a visit. He seemed to know what I needed even before I did. We just spent time together. He introduced me to Phil Ochs (his music, that is), visited Whistler and Pender Island (where he treated me and Jennifer S., to breakfast in bed), read my Tarot Cards, let me sleep in. We did simple things but they made such a difference.

He taught me what it means to be a friend by being a good one - by forgiving at times when it was really hard, by being understanding rather than judgemental and by giving of himself and not keeping track of the IOUs.

I know I will feel this loss for a long time to come.

No words

I wrote this on Friday, May 11, 2007

There are really no words for how I'm feeling right now. So I find it hard that I'm sitting in front of this screen trying to put something down.

Today is going to be one of those tough days.

Today would be my friend Brett Cemer's 40th birthday. He died almost three years ago after an inspiring struggle with brain cancer. He was one of the most caring, thoughtful, and passionate people I have ever met. Plus he was fun and funny, smart, articulate, beautiful and charming. When we first met, he made me nervous yet at the same time put me at ease. It wasn't long till I felt like we'd known each other for years. Having him in my life for the brief time I was able enriched me beyond belief. I miss him.

Later today, I will be with friends celebrating the life of another man who touched the lives and hearts of many, including mine. Dave Kappele died suddenly on Saturday, May 5th in Guelph. Dave and I have been friends about 13 years or so after meeting during our work with the Canadian Federation of Students.

Those were intense times...being younger, idealistic and consumed...but it made those relationships intense too. We connected quickly and spent many hours working hard, talking long and laughing.

Dave was one of those people in my life who has put up with his share from me. I trusted him so much and he was always there when I needed him. He knew the good, the bad and the ugly and yet still loved me. He just seemed to "get" me. I will always be grateful for how safe, understood and loved he made me feel. Even after being out of touch for long periods of time, we picked up virtually where we left off.

I realize now that he's gone that we took time for granted. At least I did. I always thought there would be more. More work, more talk, more laughs..more.

I know I am so lucky to have had two friends like Brett and Dave in my life.

I know that.

first post

I've been putting off my first post.

Why? I figured I should have something really important to say. Something major.

I do now. And I hate that fact.