not expecting the worst

I have a habit of expecting the worst in any situation. I would normally describe myself of an optimistic cynic. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. I think that saves me from getting my hopes up. Although, it doesn't because I get them up quietly, in the background. When I feel let down, I feel justified in not putting my hopes out there, front and centre to have them dashed in full daylight.

I trust few people for some of the same reasons. I've tried to open myself up to people and opportunities over the last year. It's caused some significant changes in my life. But when I get scared, the same old fears surface.

Yesterday was one of those times. Thinking about sharing important details put me beside myself. As scared as I was that things would go horribly bad and the worst would happen, I trusted that it was still the right thing to do. I trusted and let the words spill out.

In typical fashion, I was accepted and put at ease. What I had magnified over time in my own mind was taken in stride. If anything, I was amazed to hear that there was pride in my telling the story and taking responsibility. I was shown love and respect.

I am truly lucky.